Monday, September 30, 2013

leukemia and my crazy Dexter

I know this blog is about Hunter but shortly before our very short battle with lymphoma, we had to deal with watching another one of our babies waste away from leukemia

I knew losing Hunter would be hard no matter what, but this summer has been the absolute worse summer of my entire life.  That is no exaggeration.

This is Dexter.  He was also a sick little puppy that I rescued.  I was on my way to work and he ran out from underneath my truck.  I will never forget I was wearing a brand new pair of khakis and I got them dirty picking him up.  Instead of heading to work I just took him to the vet.

I knew from past experience that he probably had mange (it has a smell to it) like Hunter did and that it is expensive and time consuming to treat.  I dropped "the puppy" off and went to work.  I got a call later that day that he did have mange and I told them they were going to have to put him to sleep.  I already had 3 dogs and I just didn't have the money to treat him.  I hung up the phone, called Dennis and immediately called the vet back and said I wanted to keep him, of course she knew that was going to happen.  We named him Dexter.

He was socialized pretty well, not like Hunter but no dog is ever socialized to the level that spoiled big guy was, I took him out a lot as a puppy.  However, Dexter was not a normal dog.  We ended up taking him to a vet behaviorist and putting him on medication for severe anxiety.  I was his anchor and he felt safest when he was with me snuggled up in bed.  It was pretty much the only time his mind shut off and he was able to rest.  His chin would literally tremble he would get so worked up.  We still suspect he had seizures but the testing would have been too much for him.

Around spring we noticed he had started to lose weight.  We went through the normal rationals of it getting warmer, him getting older, etc.  I took him to the vet on May 2 because I knew something was wrong.  It never occurred to me that it was anything serious.

He had lost 12 pounds in 4 weeks.  Dr. Reed knew right away something was seriously wrong.  She looked at his gums and told me he was anemic and they took him back to do blood work.  When she came into the exam room she started spouting off numbers and results and I just sat there and pretended to understand what was being said.  I think it took me 10 minutes to realize she was telling me my crazy boy had leukemia.  He was desperately in need of a blood transfusion. 

Dennis was at work so I called him in hysterics telling him we had to get Dex to the emergency hospital for the blood transfusion and figure out what we were going to do.  When Dennis got there he rationalized with me, reminding me of how scared Dexter was of everything and that if I had to leave him it would be the worse thing we could do for him.  So, we decided to take him home and let him live out his life where he was most comfortable.  Dr. Reed said he would probably have 2 weeks. 

Dr. Heather, Hunter's acupuncture doctor told me to feed Dex bloody organ meat to help with the anemia.  So I cooked liver and kidneys and bought a bunch of steak scraps from the butcher (and wanted to pull my sinuses out and burn my house down to get rid of the smell) and fed it to him  3 times a day.  I also got him double cheeseburgers, corn dogs, hot dogs, you name it.  That boy ate very well and he was always hungry.

Every day I would wake up and tell him "nope, today isn't the day" but one day I got up out of bed and he didn't spring up and follow me.  I sent Dennis a text and told him "today might be the day".  I took him to the garage to feed him his organ meat and I sat down with him and told him that if he was ready to go not to stay for me.  I will miss him more than he will ever know but I don't like to see him so sick.  I told him that I will never forget him.

That was May 14, 12 days after his diagnosis.  I got home from work and he was acting like his normal self.  I felt a sense of relief.  He went outside one last time, came in jumped up on the couch right beside me and passed away.  I know he waited for me because he was scared.  I got home at 4:30 and he was gone by 4:45. 

So you see I am pretty much at my limit when it comes to loss.  This doesn't even take into account the death of a very good friend from work 2 months to the day after Dexter passed.

 This was after he got sick, he aged really quickly.  He was only 10.
 Always a little sneaker when it came to food.  I took him to the behavior specialist which is about an hour away, he helped me eat my lunch.
 Playing with Libby and Foster
 Baby picture, snuggles with his older brother.
 He wanted to order for himself.
 excuse the horrible picture of me.  This was in his final days and I just couldn't make myself get out of bed to go to work and leave him.  We literally snuggled this close every night.
We met this kid at an art action for an animal charity.  The kid was 16.  We didn't win the custom artwork but we got his contact information and I gave him my photo album password and let him pick from all the dogs pictures which one he wanted to do.  This picture of Dexter was what he picked.  He did a really good job of capturing the depth in his eyes.
 

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry it has been so rough for you this year. Losing two in a row has to be MORE than twice as hard, especially when it was those particular two. That's the tradeoff we have to make for loving animals. It's a horrible tradeoff, but unfortunately we don't get any choice. Take care of yourself.

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